nº 3- December 18th, 2025

There are writers who report on culture, and then there are writers who inhabit it. Marisa Meltzer is an author and journalist whose work explores the inner lives of women, often writing from within the culture she examines. Her latest book, It Girl, looks beyond the myth of Jane Birkin to reveal the human story beneath the surface. In our next HERE/ SAY conversation, Marisa speaks openly about ambition, identity, the creative process, and the tension between being seen and being understood. It is an honest, reflective exchange, aligned with the way she thinks and works, both on and off the page.

CL: Your book title It Girl sums up how most people regard Jane Birkin. Your book really unpacks how layered and human that image truly was. When you began writing, what did “It Girl” mean to you, and did your understanding evolve as you explored her life and legacy?

Marisa: I always knew that being an it girl was both aspirational and a little flattening. I do not know if jealousy is the right word, but I was always envious of the kind of girls, or women, or whatever, who have been called it girls, because they are cool. There is something that you cannot quite put your finger on about them, and they are a little mysterious, and everyone wants them to be at their party.

I do not know if I am really like, I am definitely not mysterious. But also, you know, being reduced to a phrase like "it girl," and kind of it girls tend to be associated really closely with a time and place, which also means usually that you are considered a flash in the pan or kind of outdated after your moment has ended.

All of that is a little bit tragic, or just not what I wanted for myself. So I always knew that it girl was sort of a good thing and a bad thing, probably mostly a bad thing, because people do not proudly call themselves that. But I also used the title because it was a little bit of a raised eyebrow. It is like, here is what you think of this person, but I am going to tell you the truth.

CL: Birkin’s life sits between visibility and intimacy, adored as a muse yet deeply private in her own way.
What surprised you most about how she navigated being seen versus being known? And do you think that tension still defines modern womanhood?

Marisa: I do think that tension still defines modern womanhood, and I think it is probably harder to navigate than ever in the era of social media. Everyone has to decide what parts of their lives they reveal or not. And there are phones and videos everywhere.

I think in some ways what was really interesting about the story of Jane Birkin is that she had to navigate those things, about privacy and inner life versus public life, decades before most of us normal people had to do it. So I think there is something to take away from the book about how you can figure out that balance, and maybe that balance is ever changing. She certainly was very out and about for more than a decade, and she never became a total hermit. But there is a certain point in her life that swings a little bit more toward her family life and personal life and work life, rather than simply being famous for being in all the right places and wearing cute outfits.

But I also think she showed that there are moments when you want to be photographed, you want your name in the paper, you want to be seen on a red carpet or at a party, because it is good for your career or maybe it is just good for your morale that night. And there are times when you just want to blend into your neighborhood and walk your dog and go to a cafe. I like that she had both.

CL: Across your work, from Glossy to This Is Big, you return to women’s inner lives through the lens of culture, beauty, and ambition.
What draws you to these subjects, and do you feel that in writing about them you are also documenting parts of your own story?

Marisa: I think I am really drawn to women, probably because I am a woman. But I also think there are not as many people telling stories of interesting women or flawed women or women who were not princesses and queens. I take the work seriously of telling women’s history, but also through the lens of things that I am interested in, like culture and fashion and beauty and some business.

Basically, I think the through line is women who are indicative of a time and a place. I really like, as a writer, the challenge of recreating a very specific era. For This Is Big, it was Queens in the early sixties. For Glossy, it was SoHo in 2015 or something like that. For Jane Birkin, one of the cool things is that she was very much a part of swinging sixties London, and then she moved to France at the very end of the sixties and became totally representative of jet set, nightclub, 1970s Paris.

Not a lot of it girls do that. Not a lot of it girls transcend two very different scenes in two different countries. I love that about her.

Am I documenting parts of my own story? I think so. In This Is Big, it was not so much the subtext, because there was a lot of memoir in it. It was about me reckoning with my own history of dieting while also telling the story of Jean Nidetch, the founder of Weight Watchers. But with Glossy, it was also about telling the story of this specific era, the girl boss, and the rise of beauty and its prominence in business. That had been a big part of my career, and I was more of an observer or reporter around it, but it was definitely something I had a front seat to.

With It Girl, I think it was more about my own interests in the sixties and being someone who always loved Paris and contending with the idea of the muse versus the artist. I have always identified more with Serge Gainsbourg, or the genius, the artist in the relationship. It was never my personal desire to be the muse. I am not the type. For whatever reason, I do not think men write songs about me.

But I think I have this ambition to be the central person and to be considered a genius. So in some ways it was coming to terms with that ambition, but it was also about understanding that the muse plays an important role, and that they have never properly gotten their due. Taking a dive into one person’s psyche, especially someone like her, who had journals where you could see her desires, her frustrations, and how she wanted to be seen, was fascinating.

CL: Your writing feels personal and grounded, as if you are discovering your subject as you write rather than analyzing her from afar.
What does that process look like for you day to day? Are there moments that help you get into that creative headspace, or ways you find clarity when you are deep in a project?

Marisa: I always begin with a lot of research. Facts, as a nonfiction writer and reporter, are guideposts. I really love the research part of any project, and it is the most pleasurable. For something like this book on Jane Birkin, I was reading her diaries, watching her films, listening to her music, interviewing people who knew her, going to costume archives, going to her old homes, going to the cemeteries where she was buried, reading articles about her and interviews on TV and in print, and even doing things that were tangentially related, like seeing how Birkins get made at Hermès. I was trying to leave no stone unturned.

In that phase, I am not trying to overthink or analyze it too much. I am just trying to take notes on what I observe and any thoughts that I have. Then I turn to outlining the book and figuring out which parts go where and how the story is going to unfold. That part is really hard and exhausting and painful. I have to forget how hard it is after I finish a book, otherwise I am not sure I would write another.

I am pretty good at avoiding writer’s block, because I have outlines and notes and quotes, and I am not just staring at a blank page. I also go back over many drafts with editor notes. There is a lot of revising, and I am at peace with the fact that it will change a lot.

There are days when it is just not happening and I feel exhausted or not fully awake. On those days, I hope I can give myself permission to work on something else, take a nap, see a movie, or do a puzzle. Other days I do not have that luxury because of a deadline, and I have to push through. It is both.

CL: When life gets busy, small things like a facial, a walk, or even a slow, quiet morning can feel like reset moments. It could also be a martini and a Vogue. We would never judge and might even join you.
What does care look like for you right now? Are there simple things that help you feel present or centered when you are working on a big project?

Marisa: I wish I were better at having equilibrium during big projects, but instead things like cooking, which I do not like much anyway, or going to yoga, fall by the wayside because I am home working so much. Those things would help me, but they are the first things I give up.

I tend to be working long hours and using my head so much that I want rewards, which are often food, a cocktail, or a Vogue. I try to have at least one dinner with friends a week, something that feels really pleasurable.

I am an only child and I live alone, so I love alone time. A day of walking my dog and seeing a movie feels great. I also love bath houses and saunas. They feel so good and help me reset. Having vacations on the horizon, even far in the future, helps me too.

I wish I were less all or nothing. I wish I could be someone who exercises every morning no matter what or makes a salad for lunch every day no matter what. But I am so disciplined in my job that there have to be areas of my life where I am not disciplined. For me, that is shopping and eating. And yes, I love facials.

CL: You’ve become part of our Carrie Lindsey community, which means a lot to us.
How did you first find your way to the studio, and what do you most look forward to when you book your next appointment?

Marisa: I found my way to the studio because Carrie worked at Shen Beauty in Cobble Hill, or maybe Carroll Gardens, I forget which. I lived nearby and really liked her. Then she left, and I saw Lara Kaiser at Shen too, and she also left and joined Carrie Lindsey. I started going there for facials, brows, and lash tinting. I am very committed to my lash tinting. My brows do not need much because they are naturally very thin. Thank God thin brows are back in fashion, because I do not feel like a freak anymore.

I would also like to publicly thank Lara for telling me ten years ago not to get microblading because I would regret it. She was right.

I try to get facials as much as I can. I do not get them often enough, but I am trying to do it every three months. They make me happy. They feel good. I travel a lot, and my skin gets disgusting from planes, both clogged and dehydrated at the same time. I am always ready for a deep cleaning and hydration. I love the lymphatic work and the cheekbone sculpting.

Before big events and before my author photos, I always get a facial. My last author photo looks really good, and I had a facial that morning before the photos that afternoon. I look very sculpted. I love makeup, and I am fascinated by it, but I do not wear much. I just want beautiful, glowing skin courtesy of you guys.

CL: Jane Birkin seems like the ultimate person to have had the chance to write about, but we are wondering if you have a muse or person you have always wanted to write about or know more about , a dream subject, per se.

Marisa: There are people whose memoirs I would absolutely devour. I would love Chloë Sevigny to write a memoir. I would love Liza Minnelli’s. She reportedly has a book deal, and I hope she writes it because I will read it immediately. Same for Madonna. Same for Gwyneth Paltrow.

As for someone I would write about, it is not always the person I am the biggest fan of. It is someone I find fascinating. I am really interested in American designers from the twentieth century, like Calvin Klein and Donna Karan.

I do not know what my next book will be about. I am trying to let my mind rest and not pressure myself into finding a new idea. Sometimes you have to stop actively trying in order to come up with one. Those are the kinds of people whose memoirs I want to read. If Courtney Love ever publishes her memoir, I will be first in line.

CL: So, what’s next?

Marisa: That is also part of my answer to what is next. I am trying not to be desperate to define what is next. I started a job as senior staff writer at Vanity Fair, and that is my next adventure.

It has been quite a year, full of highs and lows. I am hoping to return to a little more balance in the next couple of years. We will see!

Interested in reading more? It Girl by Marisa Meltzer
Purchase the book →McNally Jackson